I remember a time when I hinged my identity to a job title. Every introduction started with, “My name is…” and, “I am the X of company Y”. My essence revolved around that title. I lived, breathed, existed around it. It was my badge of honor because, is it easy to be the X of company Y? Do you know who we are and what we do? I was the X of company Y, thank you.

Then I got fired.

No notice.

I didn’t even get the two-week to one-month period to mentally transition out of the position.

I was handed my letter at the end of the month and was not to resume the following month. To make matters more chaotic, my salary for that month was also withheld.

If “turnioniown” was an experience, that was it for me.Everything was turnioniown. I felt like the rug had been pulled from beneath my feet.

First of all, I was living paycheck to paycheck so how were my pays going to be checked the following month?

Secondly, who was I without this title? How was I going to introduce myself from that moment? Beyond the hurt and betrayal I felt, I also felt anger and shame. 

They fired me. ME!!!

I went to church o. I went to church; and I didn’t go to church in Lagos, I WENT TO CAMP IN KADUNA!!

ALHERI CAMP!!

Rev. Joe Olaiya!!!

Because fire had to consume all my enemies, and at that point I didn’t trust Lagos fire to do the job. I needed fire from the NORTH!

HOT. DRY. HARMATTAN FIRE!!!

My enemies must know that I serve THE LIVING GOD!

As I got to my studio apartment on camp, l was ready for warfare. Of all the emotions I felt, Anger propelled me the most.

How dare they? How dare everybody?!!

At this point I wasn’t just angry at the owner of the company, I was angry with HR for not fighting for me, with Finance for not processing my salary; with my friends because Yes, this was also their fault. Don’t ask how, it just was. 

To me, everybody around me had failed me and I was going to get justice in Kaduna.

I burst into capital-lettered-heavily-consonanted tongues as I dropped my bag!! This wasn’t the time for, “Enter His gates with Thanksgiving”, this was the time for “Come Boldly to the Throne of Grace”

They fired me, I must fire them!

Where are the angels? No, not the angels, the ARCHANGELS; and not Gabriel, because he seems gentle, always bringing good news to people. I wanted MICHAEL!!

The WARRIOR!!

The tongues and cries continued and a few minutes in, l started having flashbacks. Flashbacks of me at the office.

“LORD, this isn’t about me! It is about THEM!! Show me th fire burning them especially that man!!!!”

I expected a switch in what I was seeing, like those dreams where one moment you’re on a field, the next you’re in a hall, but the flashbacks continued. This time I was seeing arguments l’d had at work, my disregard for authority, my tactlessness when I spoke, my rebellion… and then the moment of realization hit me

GOD hadn’t brought me to Kaduna to deal with my enemies. He had brought me to Kaduna to deal with me.

It didn’t seem fair at first because, okay I was badly behaved but did I have to be embarrassed? “Couldn’t You correct me in private and why did I have to come all the way to Kaduna to be corrected?”

Somehow I knew the answers to these questions as I asked them.

GOD will not correct in public without first trying to correct in private. He’s a good Father. If He tries to get through to you repeatedly and you decide to have coconut head, you will receive the consequences for your actions.

… and I guess I had to come to Kaduna because I* needed the Hot, Dry, Harmattan fire. Lagos was my comfort zone and at that point I needed to be far away from it to “receive signal”.

The rest of my time there was spent in deep reflection; certain things had to change. It was one thing to be expressive and vivacious, it was another to not know limits.

I had to learn to “read the room”, to pull the brakes, to concede, to “pe malu ni broda” albeit temporarily if necessary. This firing situation was an afowofa and yeah, things had to change.

I came back to Lagos sober – still a work-in-progress but more self aware, more… introspective.

By the way I had taken the case to court before I left Lagos because that last month’s salary really pained me!

Months later, the verdict came in – I had lost the case.

Last December, while I was out with Daniel on a Detty December crawl, I ran into him, my former boss. Daniel being Daniel greeted him very warmly despite knowing about the drama that had happened. To avoid a long sermon from Daniel, I greeted him as well because I know my husband, he will start from “In the Beginning” and will not stop till he aets to “Amen”.So l areeted the man.

Long story short we met last month to discuss a few projects, and guess what happened after the meeting He paid me that final month’s salary

A friend of mine got fired recently and I remembered this incident and shared with her.

The truth tends to be bitter from time to time but like I said in the comments in the part Il, sometimes it’s not them, it’s you; and certain things will be permitted to happen so you don’t get to the point of no return and self-destruct.

We can all be better versions of ourselves current selves but we have to WANT to be better versions of our current selves.

To thine own self be true.